Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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