no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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