It's like God shit irony all over that family
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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