i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize