Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
