who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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