I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i barfeds in our rink
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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