He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
