I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
