I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
