Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize