I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
