I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
