the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
