alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
