dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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