we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
