We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
did you just send me my own nude
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
