What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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