I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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