i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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