don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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