In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
