remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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