Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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