Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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