Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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