How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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