I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize