our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
