I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
