So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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