Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Pants are for mortals
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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