OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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