Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
