You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
