? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
