How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
