Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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