Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
