I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
