I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
