I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
