the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
