Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
tell me about the fingering
Randomize