bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize