her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
