If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
