i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
