If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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