He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize