You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
