38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
