My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
