I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The uberlube is also flammable
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
