walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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