Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
