Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
