The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
