The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
