i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
