Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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