I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
